Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Box

And they say that you learn nothing from television.
I learned some awesome facts only today:
It will take 62 million party balloons to fly a house.
A chicken called Mike lived for 18 months after his head was chopped off.  He became the richest chicken in history because once his owner established that Mike was going to live they went on tour and people paid good money to see the headless chicken.

I have an odd relationship with TV. 
South Africa only got television in the 70’s.
When I was a weenie, teenie child, before we had television we would go walking in the streets every evening and would visit a couple of neighbours.
With the advent of television these evening walks stopped almost immediately.  Everybody was suddenly sitting at home watching their box. 
So I don’t like TV for dissocializing us and I don’t like it because many parents treat it as a nanny and because it is not interactive it creates stupid children.
I like watching my shows on TV especially the comedy sitcoms like “Modern Family” and then crime drama’s like “Criminal Minds”.
The TV is Michaels thing and he watches Sports and Discovery Channel mostly, I like watching shows like “Pawn Stars” with him or “American Pickers”. 
A lot of the shows that he watches I would consider punishment if I was forced to watch them, like:
·         Shows that tell you about big engines.
·         Shows that show how wars were won through good strategy.
·         Shows that show which tanks were best in which war.
·         Shows that show which guns were the best in which war.
I think you get the picture.
I cannot watch horror movies.
My family are disgusting they actually like these things and I have considered making a contract for my daughters to sign:
It would go like this:
                I hereby swear an Oath that I will not blame my Mother for my turning into a psychopath.   I admit that I desensitised myself by watching horror movies.  I confess that I am fully aware that a fascination with terrible and evil blood and gore is not a natural state of being.
Now it would be fine if they left their psychopathic tendencies to themselves but they want to make me an accessory to their crime.  Michael and the girls will try their best to convince me that the movie is not really scary and it is a good story and that I must watch it.
I have long ago stopped believing them.
The only reason they try to get me to watch is because they think I am amusing.  I hide under a blanket and peak out every now and then when I think it is safe.  If the movie gets to scary for me I run out of the room screaming. 
Michael at a point got over trying to get me to watch them and actually banned me from watching anything slightly scary because I would keep waking up to ask him if he heard the noises.
There was a show at one point on Sunday nights about haunted houses.  After a few weeks of sleepless Sunday nights I was barred from watching it ever again.
Despite not liking horror movies I have a morbid fascination with shows on Serial Killers (which I am only allowed to watch in the day time).
Michael was in Durban last week.  Jess was doing her own thing and suddenly I had the TV remote.  I did not know what to do with the power it was overwhelming.  I gladly passed the remote over to Jess and let her choose.  The power of the remote might have turned me to the dark side.

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