The Safe Age

I am sure there are many middle aged woman even men who can relate to what I have to say.

A few years ago I reached that middle aged “safe aunty next door” look.  This is aggravated by the fact that I am horribly overweight and I tend to wear very boring baggy clothing.  I don’t have any interesting piercings or tattoos either.

Strangers think I am so safe looking that they will even ask me to watch their bags or worse their children.

Note to all Moms and Dads around the world: “ If you quickly need to do something take little Johnny with you, no matter how pleasant I look I could be a monster”

Look at this picture below.  She looks safe right?  In the 80’s she helped her lover by baiting girls who he would assault and more than likely murder.  They both committed suicide before the fate of most of their victims could be determined.

There I am rambling off again this was meant to be a funny blog.

I am happy with being a Mom of two beautiful young women and a teen.  I am more comfortable in my skin than I have ever been but at times the ego kicks in and I would like to be noticed.

A couple of years ago when I asked for leave to go to a rock concert, the young employment agency consultant nearly fell off his chair.  He said:

“You listen to rock music, I would have never thought that.”

I felt like saying:

“Yeah and I am also a black witch and now you have pissed me off by making me feel really old, so I am turning you into a smurf”

Instead I smiled and said:

“So, can I get the leave?”

At times I purposely rock the boat.  I get tired of being that “nice” white lady that everybody thinks is so safe.  This usually backfires on me.

One day while cashing a cheque at the bank which I knew the teller would do without any checks I casually asked about a question about cheque fraud. He started to look very nervous and suspicious. 

  He went and did the check of the cheque which meant I was in the bank for 5 minutes longer.