Evil Modern Teacher

Many moons ago I taught in a few very rural schools literally in the middle of nowhere.   I come from a family of teachers.  My Grandmother was a teacher, my great uncle was a teacher and a lot of my second cousins are teachers, my Mom is a teacher although she has not taught for donkey’s years and my cousin is currently a teacher.

I saw her commenting on Facebook that she is busy marking.  I was thinking how cool it must be to be a teacher these days.  Most of your research can be done simply off the internet. 

BUT

The coolest, coolest, coolest thing

I should never be a teacher in these modern times because I have an evil plan:

This is what I would do.

I would get email addresses for the class’ parents.

I would give the children really hard tests on Friday.

Then I would message the parents as I mark on Sunday night the messages would be as follows:

“Dear little Johnny’s Mommy,

I see that Johnny is more than likely to fail which means another year of getting up early and bringing him to school etc.  My marking of course will be a lot more favourable if I am not hungry.  I noticed that you make him lovely looking muffins.  I am sure if you pack a few extra on Monday we could see an improvement in Johnny’s performance.”

“Dear little Sarah’s Mommy,

I see that Sarah is more than likely to fail which means another year of getting up early and bringing him to school etc.  My marking of course will be a lot more favourable if I am not hungry.  I noticed that you make her lovely looking waffles.  I am sure if you pack a few extra on Tuesday we could see an improvement in Sarah’s performance.”

Five of those emails a week and I would be sorted for lunches.