Being De-Vaginated

Thursday Michael and I were getting ready for our jog.

I realised that I had put both the pants, that I use for jogging, in the machine.

Michael offered me a spare pair of his.

Me:

"Those are too small for me."

Michael:

"I am sure they will fit just give them a try."


I squeeze them on.

Me:

"They are too tight"

Michael:

"You should keep them on they are flattering, makes your bum and upper legs and tummy look all firm."

Me thinking:

"Bastard he is only saying this because he is too lazy to swap shorts."

Michael
"Reminds  me of those tv ads where they advertise that funny body stocking type thingy that is supposed to pull the woman's figure in.  Have you noticed that miraculously in the after shot they have thinner arms as well?"

Me totally distracted by the conversation and forgetting that I have no feeling in my upper legs:

"Yes when we watched that "New Girl" show and the model friend was doing the after for a diet ad, I bet that is done in real life."

We go outside to do our warm up exercises, as we decided to do the longer block, we decide to add a few more warm up exercises.

The new warm up regime includes folding my legs over.

Me:

"Owwwwhhhh this hurts terribly."

Michael:

"Good you must feel the burn in your upper thighs."

Me:

"Not my upper thigh, my vagina, these tight shorts are destroying my vagina."

Michael:

"You are being dramatic, that is a flat area you don't have any appendages ."

Fortunately he decided to exchange shorts and my vagina survived.