Sunday, May 27, 2012

You might be a redneck if...

You take your 14 year old to a strip show.

A couple of years ago when Carmen and Raewyn were still home we wanted to go out to a pub as the local had advertised a drinks special.  Problem is we all wanted to go.  Jess was underage so we discussed what to do.

We decided that if we sat in the outside area with her technically she would not be in the pub.  Her sisters dressed her up and were satisfied that she looked 18. 

We arrived at the pub only to find out that the drinks special was not happening instead a stripper was coming to do a Burlesque show.  (According to the family they were clueless about what Burlesque was, there was no dancing just a lot of oil and weird gyrating on the floor.)

Instead of taking Jess home we decided that I would sit outside with Jessica.

The older children and Michael went inside to watch.  Michael was sitting next to Carmen chatting when a man came up to them.  He seemed to think that Carmen was the stripper and Michael her pimp.

Of course this led to a lot of teasing with us all trying to think of the best stage name for Carmen, “Caramel Carmen” and many others that I would rather not repeat and we all suggested that Michael should start wearing bling.

Yes I think this is when we hit rock bottom in parenting the night we took Jess to a strip show and Michael became Carmen’s pimp.  Please don’t report us to welfare. 



Have you had your own hillbilly moment?  Please share that moment when you knew you were wearing the redneck badge with pride.

Some funny redneck pics chosen off the internet:














28 comments:

  1. Funny story, I enjoyed it. And oh my gosh that elderly lady with her booty hanging out! Too much information. 

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  2. Shannon Vander MeulenMay 29, 2012 at 9:28 AM

    Ha ha. I love those pictures. Sometimes redneck moments open up like potholes and we fall straight in!

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  3. Totally something that would happen to me!  My poor children.

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  4. Haha!  

    I don't know if this qualifies as true redneck behavior, but once, in a restaurant, the server asked my father what he wanted to drink.  My father replied, "I'm drier than a fart in a windstorm!  Gimme a beer!"  This was a family restaurant, not a posh restaurant.  Needless to say, I was embarrassed beyond belief.  I was seventeen then.  I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole.  

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  5. That's definitely a parenting fail LOL. Hope the kids that were old enough to enjoy themselves had a good time.

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  6. Hahahahha that's a great story (perhaps some questionable parenting decisions). 

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  7. Yep, probably a parenting fail. But I'm from the South. I've heard worse. Hahaha!

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  8. Parenting fails aren't so bad if everyone can keep a sense of humour! 

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  9. Yes I agree some things need to be harnessed

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  10. Becky I am glad i am not the only one.

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  11. Yes I had moments like that as a teen as well.  Very funny I must remember that one.

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  12. Yes for sure Carrie but in my defence it was the first ever strip show at that pub and the older kids nagged us to go out because we hardly ever do.  We had a very fun night regardless.  

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  13. Yeah Gia  sigh not going to pass parenting 101

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  14. I am glad there are worse than me.  Oh wait that is not a good thing.  

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  15. My family have way too much of a sense of humour.  NOTHING gets forgotten.  Take one wrong step you get teased for life.

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  16. PML!!!!  You know, they use some of those pics for Vaalpense?  So, we're not that different afterall :-)
    Long, long ago 'in my prille jeug', my -then- fiance wanted to go to Le Chic, which is a stripperige plekkie here in my hometown.  So to please the old fart, I went.
    One of the strippers came to our table, by then we weren't alone, we had a full table with hornary men and one super bored woman - that's me off course.
    So, Marykekie was sitting - staring intently at the wall - when the stripper with her leeuvel tiertert leotard, put her 'very sixties boot' clad foot on the table, right in front of me.
    I kept on staring at the wall, ignoring her point blank.  The next moment, she tapped me on the shoulder, and instinct let me look at her.
    She smiled brightly and said: "Verskoon my, maar ek dans vir jou."  (Excuse me, I'm dancing for you)
    I wished that the earth would gobble me up at that moment.  I just told her - in plain Afrikaans - to bugger off!!!
    All in all it wasn't too bad, because it was a "Mej Kaalgat Suid-Afrika" so there were prizes to be won.  We won a bottle of whiskey with the ticket draw.  I was totally sozzled when we went home :-)

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  17. This is the most creative parenting fail I've read in a while. Hats off! 

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  18. My dear dear friend,  you made me laugh so much.  I can just see you at that strip club and I know your expressions when you are annoyed.  Irony the men all only had eyes for her and she only had eyes for you.  

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  19. Musings of a Writer MomMay 30, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    Fabulous!  How many other moms can say they accidentally took their teenager to a strip show?

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  20. I grew up in North Carolina, I have had too many redneck memories to choose just one...

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  21. Ha ha I don't think I get a noddy badge for this one.  

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  22. Ha ha Adrienne, not sure if I should be proud.

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  23. I will keep reading your blog Bill perhaps you will tell some over time.

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