Wednesday, July 27, 2011

We have no friends

I have watched two comedies recently in which people declared their popularity and likeability due to having Face book friends.  HAH Michael and I have hundreds of Face book friends.  Ok I confess it is because we have a crazy obsession with the silly games where you have to get friends to complete challenges with.
Michael had friends in Durban but since he came to Johannesburg he never made any new friends.  I moved a lot, I come from a small town the kind of place where everybody can’t wait to leave and my high school friends are scattered around the world.   I have made the odd friend at places where I have worked in Johannesburg but eventually you lose touch.
Whenever we have a party we are grateful that we have family and that the children have friends or it might have been that nobody would come.  Michael and I discussed how to make friends.
Our ideas were:
Joining a club:  I don’t have a good history with clubs, before I met Michael I once went to a single parents club it was so scary and the members were mostly single grandparents, I was in my late twenties and the rest of the people there were in their fifties.  We looked around and I considered joining a book club but I was scared to death of a gang of strange woman that I didn’t know.  Michael would not gain any friends from this and we wanted to have friends for both of us.  We thought of things like Rotary, because of Sayaka, being an exchange student we attended a Rotary meeting and realised that they were way too fancy for us. 
Going out to pubs or night clubs:  Besides for being too expensive, it means going out.  Now Michael and I talk about going out but it is different to actually doing it.
Picture this:  It is Friday night month end:
Michael: “Should we go out”
Me: “Mm Ok, where?”
Michael: “I don’t know”
Me:  “Maybe that pub that that other guy said mostly middle aged people go to, he also said that a good band plays there.”
Michael: “Ok what is it called?”
Me:  “Let me think can’t remember”
Michael: “Where is it?”
Me: “Can’t remember, wait a minute what about that new place we saw down the road it looked ok”
One of the kids: “It’s not new, it was open for 5 years and it closed down last month”
Michael:  Googling on the laptop, “Wait a minute what about this place shall we try it”
Me: “Ok”
An hour later:
Michael:  “It is a bit cold are we still going to go?”
Me: (on my laptop I don’t listen to anybody) --------------------------------------------------
Me:  “Ok if you still want to”
Michael: “Ok if you want to, but I don’t feel like it anymore but if you really want to I will go”
Me: “I want to stay home let’s not go”
So sometimes we do actually go out.  What happens if we go to a pub?  We sit together, chat and watch other people.  If we go to a club we dance, sit together, chat and watch other people.  We have never made any friends at either a pub or a club.  We are fascinated by couples that make "couple friends" because we don’t seem capable.  Swinging is a definite no for us, we don’t like drugs and we are not interested in religion so we gave up. 
Things improved when we stopped trying, I got face book and made friends we chat all the time on Skype.  My daughters used to call them my imaginary friends so I was very chuffed when my daughters actually met some of them.  Again we don’t have any "couple friends" but at least I have friends now.  Michael found a club that he actually likes, he joined a rugby club and he has friends now as well.  He also has his Durban friends on Face book.  Yeah even without "couple friends" but I think socially we're better.

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