Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Is Bear coming out of the closet?

We love watching “Ultimate Survival” with Bear Grills.  The main reason is that we time him to see how long until he strips naked or pees.  We place bets as the show starts.  Raewyn is a huge fan of Bear’s and thinks he is the sexiest man. 
What I don’t understand is that despite all his running, jumping, hopping, skipping, absailing, climbing etc he does not have a six pack.  His tummy is actually quite flab looking. 
Jason was bragging a few weeks ago that he has Bear’s tool.  We were astonished that he had it and that it could fit in his pocket because we have often seen the blurr on TV and we thought it would be a lot bigger.  Jason took very long to catch on why we were teasing him about having Bear’s tool. 
I kind of did not want to watch any more “Ultimate Survival” shows after Bear gave himself an enema.  I have recovered and I was ready for the new season of “Ultimate Survival” until I saw the trailer. 
Bear Grills is doing his new season with “Broke Back Mountain” dude.  Now are the two going to be stripping naked and peeing together?
I phoned Raewyn to tell her the bad news that Bear is gay.  This was the conversation:
Me:  “Rae I have bad news for you”
Rae: “What’s wrong Mom?”
Me: “Bear Grills is gay”
Rae: “No, are you sure?”
Me: “Yip he is doing his new season with the dude from “Broke Back Mountain”, imagine they are going to be getting naked together in the mountains.”
Rae ----------------------------------
I don’t know why Raewyn put the phone down on me.  She was probably choked up with emotion.

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