Cleanzilla

One of those scientific shows, determined from testing the bacteria that a toilet cleaned daily in an office block is cleaner than the average kitchen zinc.

Where I work the five offices on our floor share a toilet.  In one of those office is a very, very “A” type lady, Cleanzilla. 

She has put notices up in the toilet:

“If you sprinkle when you twinkle,

Be a Sweetie and wipe the seatie.

If you poo,

Brush the loo.

Brush, cleaning equipment and refreshner are supplied so please be considerate of others.”

The last thing that you want on our office floor is to go to the toilet at the same time as Cleanzilla.

Cleanzilla:

“This toilet is disgusting!”

Me nodding my head:

“U huh”

Mean time I am looking around at the sterile white tiles and into the booths and thinking:

“Where is the mess?”

Cleanzilla reads my mind and says:

“Look at this drop of water at the basin, disgusting”

Me:

“Uh huh”

What I am thinking is:

“Crazy lady you should see my home, or maybe not, you would be scarred for life.”

I have been sooo tempted to make a notice for the toilet myself but I know it will be too much for Cleanzilla:

“It has been decided that this toilet should be environmentally friendly.  Please do not use refresher as it makes a hole in the ozone.  Please do not wipe up every drop of water with the paper towels as you are killing trees.”

Cleanzilla does not end her tirade with bathroom the kitchen is also under close scrutiny.  Not a soul on this floor would ever consider leaving a dish unwashed.  She continuously complains about the disgusting state of the kitchen while the rest of us occupants of the second floor scan the kitchen trying to find the dirt.