Friday, July 17, 2015

Life, happiness and moving on

It has been a long time since I posted here.

Two years ago I started Mountain biking and it is not just a hobby it is a way of life for me now and my focus is on my trail review site now.

There is so much going on my life right now that I am bursting to write about it.

First off my middle daughter Raewyn is pregnant, I am going to be a grandmother!!!!

I freaked out at first.   I worried:

  • Are they going to cope financially?

  • Is her partner going support her and her child properly?

If you followed my blog before you would know where these worries stem from.  I had two really bad marriages and ended up a young single mother with barely enough money to feed my daughters.  I am very protective about my daughters I don't ever want them to have the hardship that I went through.   My life has turned around, I am happily married to my wonderful kind Michael, who has done so much for my daughters and myself.

Fortunately my sister came to visit.  My sister and I are complete opposites, she believes in spiritual stuff and we often agree to disagree because I am a skeptic and believe everything has a scientific explanation.

This time, I agreed with my sister completely,  my sister pointed out what never occurred to me.  Besides for my Mom and sister helping me the little bit that they could I had no support system when I went through all those hard years as a single Mom.  My daughter on the other hand has all of us. Her partner will probably make a brilliant Dad and provider but if he does not she will never be as alone as I was.  I suddenly realised that my fears were silly and I could start enjoying the idea that I am going to be a Granny.

My eldest daughter Carmen, is here for a months visit from China!!!

Our Carmen set off a year ago to China to teach English.  She spent a year working in Johannesburg saving up for her air ticket and paid for her TEFL course herself.  She is the bravest person I know!  Having her home for this month is wonderful.

I remember how much I worried about her when she returned from Cape Town.  Carmen had been running the night club of an upmarket restaurant and she was burned out and had no idea what she was going to do next.

In true to Carmen manner she had 2 jobs within 2 weeks.  In a few months she decided that she was going overseas to teach English and she very quickly found out what she needed and arranged it.  She did all this without any help.

My Jess is going to live at Hong Kong Airport!

Jess is going to China for a month to visit Carmen.   Jess is famous for getting lost and confused.  We all know she will get to Chengdu safely with Carmen what we don't know is what will happen on her way back from Chengdu.  I suspect she is going to miss her flight and live at Hong Kong Airport.  I just hope my Japanese daughter Sayaka, (She lives in Hong Kong) will take food to Jess at the airport.

My heart is healing

The day before Mother's day I lost my four legged Grand son, Gordo.  He was Jess' dog.  For the first 2 years of his life, while Jess was in high school, he slept with me.  Gordo was not a barker but he was loud.  He snored up a storm at night, he squealed when he was playing, he cried when he was sad, and when I returned from work he would stand at the gate and tell me long stories about his day.

My pajama trousers all have holes in them because he used to grab onto them and drag along them while I walked.  He was scared of the dark and when he woke up in the night he would start growling at the shadows.  I learned to switch the light on and reassure him that there was nothing there.

Jess moved out and Gordo went to live with her.  I missed him terribly.  I looked forward to seeing him on Mother's Day.  I had a vision of the day in my head.  I was going to arrive at Jess' house and he would walk up to me and give me one of those long speeches in doggy language.

Instead the day before we rushed him to the vet, the vet thought he was going to be alright.  We all thought he was going to be alright.  That evening he stopped breathing.

Moving on

I have been able to cope so much better with my grief because of  Mountain biking.  I recently cycled my first 50km race.  I am stronger, fitter and healthier than I have ever been.


In August we will all have a weekend together before Carmen goes back to China with Jess.  We are like any family, we fight, we hug (except for Michael, he is German) we laugh, we cry.   We do crazy a bit better than any other family I know.  We are horribly sarcastic and forget when strangers visit that not every one gets sarcasm.   Most important we all love each other to the moon and back and will always be there for each other.

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