Monday, August 29, 2011

Don’t buy oranges after Woman’s Day.

So since the foundation was pulled from under me, I have been living in my own bubble.  Concentration has not been my number one thing and I have spent a lot of time playing mindless games.
Things that happened in the past few weeks:
I have bested my Spider winning spree.
Landi (Jess’ best friend) has been brown mailing Jess (it’s not black mail cause Landi is brown not black) We don’t know why and we don’t care as long as she continues to get Jess to do some household chores as part of the brown mail.
Jess has a boy at high school that likes her and as she goes to the school of the arts there are hardly any straight boys. So I suppose it is rather competitive amongst the girls to date the straight ones.  Two older girls threatened her today.  All her big sisters want to go to school with her.  I think if they knew her big sisters they wouldn’t mess with her because:
·         Chuck Norris looks under his bed for Carmen.
·         Astrid (Carmen’s best friend) is super clumsy and yet tough she survives everything, so she is very likely to trip and fall on them,  she will be injured but she always recovers.
·         Raewyn is quite gentle but don’t pick a fight with her she knocked somebody off her feet at a night club recently.
·         Danielle (Raewyn’s best friend) is a sweet heart of note but I have seen her do super bitch and as short as she is she will send the biggest girl running.
·         Sayaka (my Japanese daughter) is possibly the gentlest and kindest and most trusting human being but she is super ninja don’t try to play badminton with her she is across the net hitting back to herself before you even know that she has served.
Jess and I mastered Twitter and discovered how to build ultra big followings and Jess has been taunting Landi pretending that she does not know how she got so lucky suddenly having dozens of followers. ..... I hope Landi does not read my blog.
Michael got a black eye from his last club rugby match of the season.  Now people think I beat him up.  I have been trying to act tough and let strangers think that I do by bossing him around in the supermarket.  He is not playing along, I will have to beat him until he does.
We went to another rugby match at Ellis Park Sharks versus Lions.  Michael and I are big Sharks fans and sadly they lost.  The Shark’s colours are black and white on the way to the stadium Landi had a black and white top on and matching stripes on her face.  Landi is a turncoat a few minutes into the match it seemed apparent the Lions were winning and suddenly she had red stripes on her face and a red and white jacket on. 
Michael had flu and then two days later I had flu as well which really upset him because he says I imitate his ailments so that he can’t get any attention.  Needless to say I did not get any chicken soup this time round.
We went from artic cold weather to boiling hot weather in a few days and back to artic cold and back to boiling hot.  Come on Summer win the battle already.
I have been trying to think of a cool statement for South Africans incorporating the weather, the American’s  have:
“Don’t wear white after labour day”. 
Now I have long been thinking what we can make our weather related statement in SA.  I have it: “Don’t buy oranges after Woman’s Day” 
Let me explain.  Woman’s Day is the 9th August, which is late winter in SA.  The last oranges of the season are crap they are dry and tasteless. 

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