Friday, January 27, 2012

Beauty is going to be cross with me

Beauty is going to be horrified tomorrow.
Who is Beauty?
Beauty is our wonderful elf that cleans my house from top to bottom once a week on a Saturday.
Beauty has worked for us for 5 or 6 years.  Before Beauty, Brenda worked for us.  Brenda was rather like me when it comes to doing housework which means she was completely and utterly useless.
Every week I would tell Michael that I really, really should fire her.
The problem was that she is one of the sweetest human being alive.
I would have a stern talk telling her that she really was not getting any house work done.
Instead of getting cross and sulky she would apologise profusely and promise to try harder and then she would smile at me and her smile is so sun shiny.
One day Brenda came to me and told me that she was going away for two months but if I did not mind her friend Beauty would come and work for me.
I was thinking “Yes, anybody is better than Brenda” but I managed to pretend to be disappointed and I don’t think Brenda noticed the air punch.
The following week Brenda arrived with Beauty in tow.
I was stunned.
All those things that Brenda never seemed to manage to do she told Beauty to do.
She walked through the house.
Explaining that you always dust first, wipe next and mop or vacuum last (work from top to bottom when cleaning ) I told Brenda time and time again but she seems to be a much better teacher than a worker.
The following week this tiny little woman called Beauty transformed my home into a beautifully clean place.
We all walked around and looked at our home in awe.
When Brenda returned, we had a little talk.
She had two other jobs and Beauty had none.
So I said to her that seeing Beauty is a widow with children and grandchildren to take care of and she has no other work could she give her the job of working for me.
Fortunately Brenda being a sweetie pie, said “OK” with a big smile.
Since then Beauty has worked for us.

Beauty works every Saturday.
Once she was sick and came in on Sunday.
Another time she had visitors and came in on Sunday. Every December she goes home to Zimbabwe to her family and comes back in January.  During this time I am on leave so, it is easy to keep up with house work.
Saturday past she called me and said she was sick and she would come in on Sunday.  I realised that she thought that if she did not come in the next day that she would not be paid.  So I phoned her and told her that she I would pay her and that everybody gets sick leave and not to worry coming in on Sunday. She sounded very doubtful she has no trust in my domestic abilities.  I had to assure her that it would be fine.
After I came home on Saturday, Michael and I cleaned the house thoroughly; it looked as if Beauty had come to work. This entire week I have been missing my elf as I have had to iron Michael’s work clothes.
Any way we have kept the house reasonably clean up unto today.  Michael knocked my tweezers down the drain in our bathroom and trying to retrieve them he broke the basin’s water pipe.  Gung and water was all over our bathroom.
Then Michael confused the sugar with the flour when he was making supper.  He poured sugar all over the kitchen counter to roll the dough out on.
Then when he went to get the actual flour he knocked over a bag of rice. Ok we have actually cleaned up most of it.
Plus it has been raining most of the week so the laundry has been piled up.
I know what is going to happen tomorrow.
Beauty is going to look at the sorry state of affairs and think to herself:
“Shit, this woman is useless”
Beauty is much too nice to say it out loud to me.

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