I am my family’s worst nightmare when it comes to shopping. From our home to our nearest supermarket is a 5 minute drive. Even if I go to buy bread and milk it takes me at least an hour.
My nearest and dearest don’t even want to go with me when I go to the supermarket. Carmen is the worst, we will be standing in the condiments aisle and I will be admiring the latest chill sauce and she gets all narky.
Carmen rolling her eyes to the heavens:
“Mom, what are we doing here?”
“Mountain biking, Carmen I think it’s obvious we are in the grocery store, shopping of course.”
“Now you are a comedian, Mom you said that you were going to quickly buy bread and milk, you are nowhere near the bread and milk aisle”
“I’m just having a little looky see, you never know there could be a good special and I might miss it if I only look at the bread and milk.”
“I knew this was a mistake, I don’t know why I let you talk me into coming”
---- (when Carmen gets in one of her unreasonable moods it is better not to say anything.)
So in silence we walk to the bread and milk and I don’t even get to go to the bakery to admire the latest creations or anything...
The sweetest ladies work at our local supermarket. By the time I get to the tills I forget about Mrs Huffy Puffy and I start chatting to the ladies. The supervisor always comes to greet me if she is not busy at the front counter.
This is the part where I get in trouble with Raewyn and Jessica, they both will wait until we are out of hearing range then they start.
“Ma, those woman know probably know your life story by now”
“You are one of those annoying biddies that has to have a conversation with everybody in every store”
Jess can be easier on me if I buy her something. Usually she just grabs whatever she got and goes to the car to wait.
When I arrive home, Michael is on the phone and I hear him say:
“Sorry it’s alright officer she is home”
Then he puts down the receiver and turns to me:
“You left this morning to buy bread and milk and it is night time now, I was worried”
“Oh I did not realise I was gone long, shit, I got the milk but I forgot the bread, I will have to go back”