Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I am your leader

There is a religion called Scientology.  To be totally honest I know ziltch about it, I have never read up about it or investigated it because what I have heard via hearsay is so hysterically funny that I don’t want to mess with the image in my mind.
So this is Scientology according to Vivian (according to what I have heard that may or may not be true.)
A long time ago a guy wrote a book about how you can make a lot of money out of religion.
A bit after that he wrote this book about this religion with all kinds of interesting stuff about aliens  (I can’t remember, but they either were our fore fathers or they planted us on the planet earth)
Anyway the religion Scientology was born.
But wait I have not got to the really, really cool part..........
So the guy that started Scientology, died (in case you think I am a heartless beast his being dead is not the cool part) and apparently he was very, very rich, uhmm surprise, surprise.  He has a house in practically every country and his faithful followers keep his houses ready and waiting for him.
So legend has it (not really legend but the bits and pieces my family have told me) that they are looking for his reincarnation.
There are these stalls at supermarkets, they don’t say, “Scientology find our leader stalls”.  They simply pretend to be rather ordinary book stalls.  The books have titles like “The History of Man” by L. Ron Hubbard.  But what really is cool is the “Diode machine” (I don’t know what it really is called but that is what I call it.)  Now they tell you it is to test something can’t remember what but according to my family....
This is the really, really fun part.
My family claim that the diode machine is really a tester to see if you are their reincarnated leader.
Now I have dreams.
I see myself, picking up those diodes and the reader dial going all the way up showing that I am their leader. 
Then I will be one of the richest people on this planet.
Boy, will my family have a hard time getting a penny out of me.
“Why?” You ask.
Get this they won’t let me near those Scientology people.
They complain that I should not walk around like a robot and say,
“I am your leader”, whenever I see their stall.
Have they never heard of the power of suggestion?

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