Died of Laziness

I feel completely blah today and Michael does even more so but then he is still recovering from drinking too much whiskey on Saturday night and then we are both still not quite rested from last week.

What happened last week?

Our new resident little miss Cleo (tennis ball sized Chihuahua) got really ill with diarrhoea (a word I can never figure how to spell and if I did not have spell check I would call it the shits).

We had 3 nights of practically no sleep, pumping a stubborn baby with fluids, coaxing her to eat and cleaning up poop which somehow managed to get every where within a mile radius of her.

Fortunately little Mr Col (other new resident 4 month old Chihuahua kitten size) did not get sick. 

Col is Jess’ baby but she was away for the weekend and it felt like having two toddlers in the house. 

Very exhausted Friday night we decided to have “a slumber party” (Michaels words, should I be worried?) and dragged our mattress from the bedroom to the lounge.  We lay down to watch movies and relax.

The relaxing did not happen as the puppies and kittens decided that they were full of energy and were play fighting all over the mattress the entire night.

Saturday night went a bit better with the puppies and kittens.  Michael and I had a few whiskeys and I went to bed around midnight.

Around 3 am I was woken up by Michael.

Michael:

“I know you are going to be very cross with me but I need to know if my grammar is correct for this facebook status and blah,blah blah (something about what war does to young men and how they are forgotten)”

Suprisingly I didn’t tell him to fuck off straight away, I read his bloody status and told him it is fine ( I doubt it was but I was hoping to get rid of him). 

Then when he tried to talk to me about the seriousness of war I pushed him out of our bedroom door.

Me:

“Go away I’m trying to sleep”

Michael:

“But really  this is very important...........”

Me:

SLAM

Sunday we were invited to my sister’s house for a get together. 

My sister  Penny, her boyfriend Craig, my beautiful niece Mila, her sister- in- friend Tegwyn, Tegwyn’s baby Faye and my sisters Mother-in-friend Naureen all live together (Naureen lives in the cottage). 

Before we left I went onto Facebook and then I saw that it was Tegwyn’s birthday.

So I call Penny.

Me:

“Hello asshole you told me it was a get together you never mentioned Teg’s birthday.”

Penny:

“We forgot it was her birthday”

Anyway everybody had been arranging this family get together and failed to connect the dots with the date it was on.

ONLY IN MY FAMILY, SIGH.

I got to see my new niece-in-friend gorgeous little ginger ninja Faye. 

I went to look at Mila’s wendy house.

A few minutes later she came up to me.

Mila:

“Aunty Viv, did you see my house?”

Me:

“Yes I went to have a look”

Mila:

“I don’t zink zat you looked properly, I will have to take you and show you inside.” (if you haven’t read my previous blogs Mila replaces her “th” sound with a “z” sound, which makes her sound German)  

Despite being very hungover Michael left the party a very happy man.  There were cakes galore and everybody else politely declined taking any home with them.  We have no such manners.  We left with 3 platters full of cakes and tarts. 

Last night little miss Cleo, who slept all day at the party, decided that she was not tired and kept me awake all night.

Back to today.

Michael is lying on the couch and asks me to switch off the tv which is a few meters away from him.

Me:

“Watch you don’t die of laziness”

Michael:

“It cannot be possible to die of laziness”

Me:

“Why?”

Michael:

“Because then there would be no teenagers in the world”

Oh and just for the record I cooked dinner tonight.  

Alright I admit I warmed up leftovers that my sister gave me.