Because the bank will eat it all, Michael's salary gets paid into my account and then I transfer out some to his account to be eaten.
We usually get paid late, at times up to a week late. When its late I put my phone on silent and watch it vibrate hysterically every five minutes. At times I forget and answer my phone then the conversation goes like this:
Debt collector person:
"Good day I need to speak to miss Veeveeeayn Titsshitz"
(Technically I could due to the horrible pronunciation say that this is not me)
Me in a little squeaky voice:
"Yes that is me"
Then they say for security reasons this call will be recorded blah blah.
Debt collector person:
"We have noticed that you have not paid your account as promised on ..."
At this point I would love to feign surprise.
Me:
"My salary is not in yet I apologise I will pay as soon as it is in."
Debt collector person:
"When will you be paying."
Me:
"When my salary is in."
Debt collector person:
"When will that be?"
Me:
What I want to say is, "Do you have a crystal ball for me?"
Instead I say, "I don't know."
Now debt collector thinks I must be psychic,
"Mam, I need a date."
I have learned that no matter how much you insist your psychic powers are not working, I mean DUH I would have won the lotto if they were and then we would not be having this conversation, they want a date, any date, so I simply give a date a week later.
The past two months we have received our salaries early! You would think this is great but now I am not so sure. I look at the lovely balance that does not belong to us. I hang onto it for a few days leaving those payments to the last minute, it is good to be rich for a few days.
Before the Zimbabwean dollar was completely done away with, my Zimbabwean friend, David would brag that he had been a millionaire many times over. What he failed to tell you is that you could hardly by a loaf of bread with a million zim dollars.
