Rich for a day or two or three

Michael and I work for the same company.

Because the bank will eat it all, Michael's salary gets paid into my account and then I transfer out some to his account to be eaten.

We usually get paid late, at times up to a week late. When its late I put my phone on silent and watch it vibrate hysterically every five minutes.  At times I forget and answer my phone then the conversation goes like this:

Debt collector person:

"Good day I need to speak to miss Veeveeeayn Titsshitz"

(Technically I could due to the horrible pronunciation say that this is not me)

Me in a little squeaky voice:

"Yes that is me"

Then they say for security reasons this call will be recorded blah blah.

Debt collector person:

"We have noticed that you have not paid your account as promised on ..."

At this point I would love to feign surprise.

Me:

"My salary is not in yet I apologise I will pay as soon as it is in."

Debt collector person:

"When will you be paying."

Me:

"When my salary is in."

Debt collector person:

"When will that be?"

Me:

What I want to say is, "Do you have a crystal ball for me?"

Instead I say, "I don't know."

Now debt collector thinks I must be psychic,

"Mam, I need a date."

I have learned that no matter how much you insist your psychic powers are not working,  I mean DUH I would have won the lotto if they were and then we would not be having this conversation, they want a date, any date, so I simply give a date a week later.

The past two months we have received our salaries early!  You would think this is great but now I am not so sure.  I look at the lovely balance that does not belong to us.  I hang onto it for a few days leaving those payments to the last minute, it is good to be rich for a few days.

Before the Zimbabwean dollar was completely done away with, my Zimbabwean friend, David would brag that he had been a millionaire many times over.  What he failed to tell you is that you could hardly by a loaf of bread with a million zim dollars.